AT&T must be absolutely petrified at the thought of losing customers to other mobile carriers. Remember those 3G MicroCells that started popping up recently (MSRP $149.99)? Engadget reported yesterday that AT&T has started sending out letters to their “most valuable customers”, good for one free AT&T 3G MicroCell.
Guess who’s a valuable AT&T customer?!
I am now the proud owner of a piece of paper redeemable for one AT&T 3G MicroCell
Yup, that’s right, I am now the proud owner of a sheet of paper, redeemable for one range-boosting femtocell device. I almost threw out the letter without even opening it—the envelope looks like 99.7% of the rest of the junk mail that clogs my snailbox these days.
Here’s the funny thing, though…
- Yeah, I have shitty cell phone coverage in my house—if I’m not near a window at the front of the building, incoming calls go to voicemail and outgoing calls almost never go through—but I’ve never complained to AT&T about my lousy service…. not once.
- I’m the only person in my household, and my monthly bills only average out to about $100/month.
- I’m only a little over eleven months into my two-year contract with AT&T. The earliest I can bolt is July 2011.
So why the out-of-the-blue corporate largess? Surely there are thousands—hundreds of thousands— of customers more “valuable” than l’il ol’ me… one lonely $1,200/year revenue stream at one location (with only another $1,300 of revenue guaranteed over the next thirteen months). And don’t forget, I never complained about the service, ever. I could understand if AT&T was sending Golden Tickets like these to families in my neighborhood where there are several subscribers, especially if said households were only a couple of months from the end of their indentured servitude to Ma Bell. But one dude suffering in (literal) silence? It just doan add up!
Oh well, who am I to look a gift femtocell in the mouse (wow that’s a strained pun)? If AT&T wants to gift me with more reliable service and all that it costs me is a little leeching off my broadband connection to the intertubes, who am I to complain? I’m lucky to live in a neighborhood where Verizon FiOS is redonkulously fast—I’ll probably never even notice the drain on my bandwidth.
#1 by Metryq at July 12th, 2010
But it’s still a matter of leeching off some other service’s bandwidth. Does AT&T give you a pro-rata break on their “service” for this piggybacking? That’s why I prefer the original STAR TREK series — “honest” enemies like the Klingons. No Ferengi.
#2 by Scott Gammans at July 12th, 2010
Why Metryq, I had no idea you were such a comedian!
Of course there’s no pro-rate break from AT&T. In fact, the minutes of usage on these femtocells comes straight off your monthly voice plan (and data straight off your plan as well!). You can elect to pay an additional $20 a month for unlimited voice minutes on the femtocell, but seeing as how I never even come close to the limit as things currently stand, I doubt I’ll add the extra tariff.
Did some digging BTW, and it turns out that AT&T is actively monitoring where dropped calls are occurring. I definitely have been having those, and since I’m a customer “in good standing” (which apparently is also a criterion–i.e., late payers need not wait for their letters to arrive), I got on the mailing list. Unfortunately, it looks like a LOT of my neighbors got the same letter; I’m on a waiting list at the store near me and it will be a few weeks before they get more femtocells in stock.
I’ll post an update when it arrives, and hopefully it will be a glowing review of how the MicroCell is keeping me from chucking my iPhone against the wall in frustration at another dropped call.
#3 by Metryq at July 13th, 2010
In one episode of BOSTON LEGAL Denny Crane (Shatner) flipped open a cell phone with that distinctive communicator chirp. That’s what I want — crystal clear sub-space calls with Uhura on the other end managing all my scrambling and patching needs — despite what is says in the “Kirk vs. Picard” list:
79. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology.
(I know, I know, Uhura wasn’t on duty in “The Doomsday Machine.”)